Eating

I am having a terrible time with my food intake lately. I need to MAJORLY get this under control. I HAVE been working out 3 times a week for almost 3 months now I think? That's crazy...except this week has been bad. I havent been at all. I better go tonight. Thankfully, because of the exercise, I havent gained weight...except in the last week!

When I was following my "anti-sugar, anti-processed food diet" I did so well and lost 20 lbs! All of which is back now, 2 years later. I still eat better than I did prior to that, but I think I need to focus better back on that. I really need to get away from my sugar cravings - totally out of control. I crave crave crave sugar. Plus I have no self control. Do you know how difficult it is for me to leave the grocery store without a candy bar or a box of super sweet cereal? It's nearly impossible! I did on Monday, but then Tuesday I went to Golden Harvest and came away with 6 impossible to resist cookies (okay, and an apple bar). I was proud of myself monday, and depressed with myself tuesday! Today is wednesday...so far not too bad...

Normal ceral/toast for breakfast. Lunch same thing. Dinner I ate a VERY healthy low fat tilapia fillet on whole wheat toast with mustard & fat free mayo, along with a large serving of steamed corn. At work I also had a bananna, some carrots, and then about 6 little chocolate eggs (Laura's fault! I had to sit at her desk for awhile and they were staring at me!) I am hopeful today is a starting point! There is not much else in my house to eat that is not healthy.

Do you know that if I have sugar, butter & cinnamon available in my house I will eat like, 6 pieces of cinnamon & sugar toast? Seriously.

Also of course I am an emotional eater...bad day = CAKE! I try to not do this, but I do. And winter is worse, because it is dreary and cold and horrible out.

What amazes me is that I KNOW I feel better and am more productive if I eat healthy and go work out. If I dont, I sit on the couch and feel like total dogshit. Total! And I know it, so why do I do it? I KNOW if I eat 6 cookies I will feel like crap, but apparently the yumminess eating them is worth the ugh after? Not really. I could probably eat just ONE and be just as happy and not feel like ugh after. But I do it anyway.

So in the end, I'm going to try harder, or hope to try harder, or something.

......need chocolate......